Rules To Live By
The Freelanceafarian Rules of Living and Adventuring
Rule 1:
Thou Shalt Not Waste Long Weekends
Don’t have a ton of vacation (yet)? Make the most of holiday long weekends: tack on an extra day or two of vacation time, and you’ll be surprised how far you can go.
Rule 2:
Wheelie Yourself Out of Work
This is really simple: you will leave on flights immediately following a day’s work. With the exception of halfway-around-the-world destinations, there is no reason for you to burn a vacation day to “get to the airport.” People who leave on 11am flights are fools. Take the 6pm, the 7pm, the 8pm or a later departure and wheelie yourself straight out from work. Yes, those ticket times may cost a little more, but isn’t a whole extra day of adventure time worth it?
Rule 3:
Stop Flying Home Early
The corollary to Rule 2 is: For God’s Sake Stop Flying Home Early. Your laundry can wait. So can your chores or whatever other stupid shit you think you “need to get home” to do. Oh my god. The work week’s going to suck anyway; why not at least max out your last day of happiness? Take a later flight home, crash into your bed, and guess what? Your unpacking/laundry/emails/mundane homebound puttering will be there waiting for you the next night.
This rule is KEY to your new m.o. for enjoying your LIFE.
Rule 4:
Do NOT Check a Bag
Always remember: the less time you waste, the more time you have for living. Waiting for your luggage at baggage claim can easily waste a half hour of your time or more. Unacceptable.
This rule is so easy to live by, people. Here are some of my “secrets.”
- Keep a stash of sample-size bottles and fill them with the toiletries you need. When you get home from one trip, store the containers in the Ziploc, and just refill them when you’re packing for your next trip.
- For longer trips and larger quantities, buy what you need when you get there. Shampoo, conditioner, saline solution, etc., are easily bought at any drugstore. If you’re going deep into the bush where there won’t be any drugstores, you can buy this stuff at your arrival airport. Yes, probably more expensive, but isn’t your time worth a couple extra bucks?
- As an aside, I have been known to mail myself larger quantities of toiletries and lotions when going on a longer trip. For a month-long trip to Brazil, where I knew my favorite sunblock wasn’t available, and all other sunblock would be extremely expensive ($35USD-per-tube-expensive), I mailed four tubes of the good stuff to my lodge for $45 via the US Postal Service’s flat rate box. Well worth the effort if it can save you checking a bag, not to mention lightening your load.
- Plan to wear your bulkiest shoes and clothes for the flight, which will save you some space in your suitcase.
Important Note:
You Bring It, You Hoist It
The one exception to never checking your bag is this: if you cannot hoist your bag into the overhead compartment yourself, you must check it. To my friend M., this one’s for you: the flight attendants are not your suitcase slaves. It is not their job to put up people’s luggage. Sometimes they’re nice enough to help you hoist a bag, but in principle, you must be able to get it into the overhead yourself. I recommend some push-ups and overhead presses at the gym. If that doesn't work, you have my permission and encouragement to check your bag.
Rule 5:
No Work Emails
Are you on the verge of curing cancer? No? Well, phew, what a relief. That means you can disengage completely from work while you’re on vacation without the world coming to an end.
Do you know how often Europeans check their email while on vacation?
Never.
That’s what you’re going to do too. Try it. See how good you feel when you truly give your brain a break from work. You may be amazed.
Rule 6:
Hello, Please, and Thank You
Don’t be an asshole: make the bare-minimum effort to at least learn these three key expressions for every country you visit. First of all, it’s a matter of respect: respect your hosts enough to show you don’t expect them to cater to you in your language on their soil. Second of all, for such an infinitesimal investment, you’ll be amazed how much more you can connect with the people of the places you visit, (Parisians excepted).
Not everyone is gifted in learning languages, but everyone can learn three words.
Rule 7:
Read Up At Least A Little
Some people don’t like to travel with a guidebook. I get that. But if you’re going to skip it, at least read up online before you go, to get a sense of any cultural essentials.
For example: in Bali, you are not supposed to touch the head of anyone, ever. Not even a child should be patted on the head. They believe the soul resides in one’s head and is therefore off-limits.
In Thailand, you must never point your feet at anyone, as it is a great insult. The feet are regarded as the “lowest” part of the body. Crossing your legs so that the bottom of your foot is exposed or pointing at someone, is simply a no-no. So would be putting your feet up on any seats, but hey, that’s boorish behavior anywhere on the globe, as far as I’m concerned.
Rule 8:
Be a Hoarder
A big part of my “secret,” the thing that allows me to travel the globe without breaking the bank, is that I hoard miles like a maniac. Here are the simple steps to amassing miles for free flights:
- Be loyal to a carrier. Collect all your miles with one airline. Every airline is part of an alliance, so if you’re loyal to American Airlines and you fly Tam Airlines to Brazil, you can still collect your miles into your American Airlines account.
- Use that same airline’s credit card and CHARGE EVERYTHING. For advanced learning on the best credit cards for hoarding, including some that are not tied to one specific airline, see thepointsguy.com/2014/01/top-5-credit-cards-for-travel-rewards/
- Accept the credit card offers when they offer you 40, 50, or 100 thousand miles to sign up. Usually those card offers include a waived annual fee for the first year. So this is just a no-brainer. You can always cancel the card after the first year, if it’s not the one you’re going to keep long-term. If you’re not receiving these offers by mail, keep an eye open for them the next time you’re booking a flight online: oftentimes the airline will promote a special offer during the booking process.
- Once you’ve got a bunch of miles, DO NOT waste them on a cheap domestic flight: hoard them for international flights, which are typically more expensive. A good rule of thumb: you should be using miles when you get at least 3x the value for your mile. I recently flew from the US to Brazil in business class for 100,000 miles. The ticket would have been over $5,000 USD. So I got 5x the bang for my mile (divide 5000 by 100,000 and you get .05 which means every mile yielded a value of 5 cents). And guess what? 40,000 of those were for simply signing up for an airline card last year. Pretty great.
- For those of you who want to take your hoarding to the next level, there is a monthly online subscription newsletter called firstclassflyer.com. The guy obsessively tracks and report on deals, miles, and, importantly, which airlines are doing their seats right (or wrong). If you’re blowing 100,000 miles in business, you’re going to want to know which airline within your alliance has the very best seats and service. Is the subscription worth a couple hundred bucks? It’s thanks to him that over the years I’ve become savvy enough to travel around the world like this (and I’m not a millionaire):
Biz class on Cathay Pacific
Rule 9:
Get off the Chain Gang
Take the big American hotel chains off your playlist when you go abroad. You live in America, do you really need to stay in America when you travel? (If you’re not American, then apply this to whatever your home country’s hotel chain is.)
Go boutique. Or smaller inns and lodges. Smaller is better. You’ll get a genuine sense of the local culture.
Even when in the US, on one of your awesome long weekend getaways, you can always find a smaller, cooler place to stay than a Hilton or Marriott.
Some smaller chains are great, such as Leading Hotels of the World or Hip Hotels. They curate some really cool, one-of-a-kind properties.
If you haven’t used it before, tripadvisor.com lets you find real reviews from real travelers about lodging around the world. From raves about the best to warnings about the worst. When plotting trips to new places, I find it invaluable. Here are some of my reviews:
Rule 10:
Work for It
The harder it is to get to, the fewer gringos will be there.
If you’ve heard a place mentioned at work many times, this is NOT where you’re going. (I’m talking for your big trips here; for long weekends, you’re allowed to.)
If you’ve heard a place is at the top of many people’s lists, then put it at the bottom of yours.
Give yourself the opportunity to experience a place that is truly foreign to you. Even if you hit a big capital, like Paris, be sure to also visit a smaller town or remote village, where you might be the only foreigner for miles. That’s where you’ll get to really soak in a country’s vibe. And in the case of France, its awesome local vins (wines)!
Rosé in Sete, France
Rule 11:
Become a Local Pedaler
Though not all cities and regions are bicycle-friendly, many are. If it’s not suicidal, try biking around for a different, more local, more open view of the place you’re discovering.
Friends on the public bikes in Barcelona
Rule 12:
Prioritize Living Over Consuming
I know what you’re thinking: how can I afford to really travel?
Here’s what I’m thinking: how did you afford that colossal flat-screen TV? Or that new car? Or ____, or ____, or ____? We find ways to pay for what we want. If you want to really travel and live, start thinking: what can I put off buying so I can stop putting off traveling?
If you’re a parent and you’ve read this far, I would ask you this: which will enrich your child’s life more: exposure to new countries and cultures, or exposure to a new 60-inch flat-screen?
If in your head right now you’re fighting me, saying “but ____, but ___, but ____,” see Rule #1.
Personally, I never have the latest phone or computer, nor the latest TV. And my life’s pretty great.
Furthermore, travel does not have to be that expensive.
- There are many countries where you can still travel inexpensively.
- Plenty of deals pop up for cheap airfares and vacation bargains. My friend Jacquie once got an alert for a roundtrip ticket price of $230 from New York to Barcelona. Yes, I said two hundred and thirty dollars. Was she planning on going to Barcelona? Not really. Did she suddenly start planning a trip to Barcelona? Why yes, she did. And boom, that’s how inexpensive adventures are born.
Here are some sites where you can find great deals and also register for alerts.
http://www.airfarewatchdog.com
http://www.lastminutetravel.com
Please send in your favorite deal sites and Twitter feeds if I don’t list them here. *Thank you, Christopher, for the suggestion of theflightdeal – great deal alerts on flights, credit card sign-up bonuses, and more.
- And if you haven’t ever heard of it or used it, airbnb.com has opened up a whole new way to travel, allowing us all to dodge expensive hotels and rent from each other around the world. It’s especially great when you’re traveling with friends or family and would like the space and conveniences of a real home.